baby development

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Sleep, Dang It!

Sometimes our moments with our kids aren't the warm-fuzzy ones of fairy tales. Sometimes they are pedantic, tough-love, life lessons. I am learning about those.

Sugar Cookie is 4 calendar months old today (17 weeks, 2 days).

She is still not sleeping through the night, and while this is not completely atypical, it isn't something I care to have continue ad nauseum. I also fear we contribute to the problem by picking her up in the night when she cries.

Her crib is in our master bedroom on the wall facing my side of the bed. This worked very well for us when she was tiny and woke up to eat every couple of hours. It also helped on those nights when she couldn't sleep and laying on Michael's tummy was the only way we could get her quiet.

Last night I made a few mistakes:

Cookie was obviously drowsy on my lap sometime between 8 and 9, but instead of taking her upstairs and putting her in the crib, I let her rest with me while I watched the American Idol results show. By the time it was over and I was ready to take her upstairs, she was getting agitated because she was so tired. But by then the rocking chair didn't work, and a bottle didn't work. Michael tried to take her from me because she was crying, and I snapped at him telling him to stop treating me like I can't take care of her when she cries (he often takes her from me when she starts crying because he knows she will often stop with a "change of venue"). I took her upstairs, changed her while simultaneously fighting with her to get her to lie on her back and not roll over so I could get a diaper on her. This was the most challenging it had ever been. She just whimpered and whined, and arched her back and rolled onto her side and flailed her arms and legs. I was exhausted and completely out of patience. So, I got a dipaer on her, scooped her up and grabbed her pyjamas out of the drawer, and took her into the bedroom where I quickly and firmly dressed her without talking to her, took her over to the crib, laid her on her back, and closed myself in the bathroom. I took my nighttime pills, and some Tylenol PM as now my head was pounding, brushed my teeth, and got into my pyjamas. Cookie fussed the whole time, but by the time I emerged from the bathroom she had turned over onto her tummy as usual and had fallen fast asleep and was snoring. I didn't feel guilty. I felt exhausted. I fell asleep almost immediately. I don't remember Michael coming to bed.

At 2 am, Cookie woke up and I stayed in bed until she was actually crying loudly enough to know she was not going back to sleep anytime soon. I held her to make sure she didn't just want to be comforted, and she started to holler. I went over to the bed, grabbed a bottle from the nightstand (yes, it stays out all night - no, i don't want to hear about bacteria this and bacteria that) and she gupled it down in minutes and fell right back asleep after a big burp. I laid her back in the crib, shook Michael and told him to go downstairs and get another bottle for later, and fell back asleep. She didn't smell dirty, so I didn't change her.

At 4:30 she was up again, and this time I aked Michael to take her. I suppose he did, because I fell right back asleep and the alarm went off at 7 and there she was sleeping peacefully between the two of us in bed. But bottle #2 looked like she had only had about 2 oz., so clearly this second nightly wake-up isn't because of hunger.

But I am still so tired this morning.

I read that at 4 months she should be sleeping for 7 hours straight at night. That just isn't happening. The above scenario is what is typical.

I'm considering moving the crib out of our bedroom and into the nursery.

I'm considering letting her "cry it out". Ugh.

But she seems genuinely ravenous when she wakes up that first time. I feel like if she is just gulping the bottle, then it means I should keep feeding her then.

We are going to start on rice cereal this weekend, and try giving it to her in the evenings. We won't be putting it in a bottle, because that won't teach her to eat from a spoon, and can lead to over-feeding. We certainly don't want to contribute to childhood obesity. But we need to do something.

My mom says she has us conditioned. She says was need to quit getting up with her at night and letting her cry more.

I just know I'm hitting a wall here. She's a beautiful, wonderful baby. She's probably downright normal. She also knows that if she cries in the night she gets cuddled and gets a yummy bottle. If I knew that whenever I cried I got food and lovin', I'd be cryin' my fool head off all the flippin' time.