The Peace After the Bitter Pill
R. (baby's worker) came to our house last night to visit Sugar Cookie, check her lifebook and get copies of her pediatric records, and see how things are going. I really like R. She's a go-getter. She's a mom. She likes Sugar Cookie. She does what she says she's going to do. She's smart.After showing her the lifebook we had started for Sugar Cookie, we gave R. an 8x10 copy of Sugar Cookie's 1 month old portrait we had done as well as 8 wallet sized ones - all to give to her birth mother (and one for R. too). We also gave her a handfull of extra copies we had of Sugar Cookie's first night with us home from the hospital (we are not in the photos). It was hard handing those over, but it was the right thing to do. It was bitter-sweet. There was peace there in knowing we were making the right decisions.
Biomom has made no progress at all. No drug tests, no counseling, no nothing. Apparently, all she has is anger, saying that everything "is a bunch of lies" and just being angry. R. says it is frightening how in denial she is. R. does not expect her to do anything, and has said she has done everything possible to get her to comply and give her the information and resources she needs. I guess sometimes you really can't help those who don't want to be helped. R. said there is no way that Biomom will ever voluntarily terminate her rights because of her denial. Her rights to her other two children had to be involuntarily terminated as well because of her denial - even with criminal charges and incarceration of she and Biodad. God and the court system are Sugar Cookie's hope right now. We found our who the judge is, and we are quite pleasedand have more faith that her case will not languish endlessly in judicial hell.
R. also disclosed to us that she does not go to Biomom's place of residence to do her visits with her because of her own personal safety. Geez! If that is the situation, then I am really, really glad Cookie is safe. R. also told us that in the grand "crystal ball" of life - that if we were to adopt Sugar Cookie, they are advising us already to have a very, very closed adoption for her safety and ours. Holy cow. The feelings that wash over me while I rock Sugar Cookie to sleep at night in such peace and tranquility knowing what is going on in the background that is in such upheaval is sometimes overwhelming.
Because Biomom called and said she couldn't come to court on Monday because "she was too sick" to make it, court was pushed back to March 13th. R. then cancelled her visit, saying that if she was too sick to make it to court, then she was too sick to be around the baby and to call and reschedule a visit when she was well. So far, she has no called R. back. Her next scheduled visits will be March 14th and 28th. It will be tough visits if on the 13th, the judge approves Sugar Cookie's transition to an adoptive track giving R. 6 weeks to petition for termination of parental rights.
So, all we have to do now is wait until March 13th. We pray court actually happens. We do not know what they will do if Biomom is a no-show again. I don't care how sick I was - if it were me, I'd be there fighting with every cell in my body to get my baby back and try to prove to anyone willing to listen that I was a fit parent. Not showing up is not a good sign, and the same judge will get to try yet again to hear the petition.
Last night I rocked Sugar Cookie to sleep in my new (antique) rocking chair as we watched an uninspired American Idol together as a family - Michael crashed out on one sofa, and the cats running up and down the stairs like crazed beasts.
Cookie turned 10 weeks old yesterday. She weighs 11 pounds, and is doing just great. There is a great deal of peace whenever I look at her.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 3/01/2006 09:54:00 AM
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