Cookie Update: What We Know (And What We Don't)
*Heavy sigh* Tamara takes a deep breath and thinks about how to inform her wonderful "virtual friends" and well as RL friends about all that is going on.The court date was pushed back. It seems Sugar Cookie's social worker needed more information to submit the paperwork. So - now we wait for a court date sometime next week. Ugh. R. apologized for not getting the paperwork in on time for the date this week. I told her I understood. It was not a lie. I would much rather her be able to put together the very best documentation in the world in order to make the best case for the judge. In addition, I believe with my whole heart that there was a very good reason that we will probably never know as to why the date had to be changed. Maybe God knew the judge he wanted to hear the case, and yesterday's judge wouldn't have been the one to hear it. Maybe whatever paperwork R. needed to add would have been a deciding factor as to whether to move Cookie to an adoptive status. Only God knows - but I am glad he's got our backs.
But there is good news for us (which, regretably, is not good news for the birth family):
No family members have "checked out" or were able to be approved to take Sugar Cookie. Apparently biomom kept coming up with names, but none proved to be suitable. I'm glad that if a family is not suitable, that workers see fit not to place the baby with them. On the other hand, this means that the entire family system must be problematic - or worse.
The other family - the one that adopted Sugar Cookie's two older siblings (ages 4 and 6) last year - has declined to take her. They said they simply cannot take another child. I am glad they recognize that, and are allowing us - the family she has known since birth - to keep her. I hope God blesses them for making what was undoubtedly a tough decision. If it is God's will, I hope Sugar Cookie can get to know her brother and sister someday and understand why she did not get to grow up with them.
The biodad violated his probation, is in jail, and for whatever reason based on whatever he did - he will be there a very, very long time. R. told me that he will be in jail for at least 9 years. This means that for all intents and purposes, he is out of the picture. Based on things that he did that I do know about, it is good that he stays locked up so he NEVER preys on another child again.
Biomom has not done a thing. She has not gone to any drug testing. She makes excuses that range from not having a ride to not having ID. It is amazing that she was able to get places to get drugs and get to the hospital to deliver the baby, but when it comes to doing anything to get the baby back, its excuse after excuse. Ugh. But I still feel sorry for her. I still pray someone helps rescue her and helps deliver her from the hell she is in. At 23, there is still so much time to change things around. I pray somehow she gets help.
So, friends, I guess God said "wait" - but he also gave us a ton of answers to pending questions. I am so grateful for the answers He provided today. Thank you for your prayers - they were answered!
Oh, and Sugar Cookie got an awful diaper rash. I did everything I was supposed to do. I felt awful. She cried and cried - real tears and everything. If you have a "miracle cure" or advice on how to get rid of it/avoid it - please, please share!
AND she started day care yesterday too. It hurt. Michael took her. I'm glad he did, because I would have cried. Because no matter what happens from here, she will always have been our baby.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 2/14/2006 11:34:00 AM
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