Meeting 1 With Sugar Cookie's Worker
Realization #973: I looked at the clock and realized that I'd been thinking about blogging all day - thus reinforcing how hard it is to write our story.Sugar Cookie's worker, R. came to our house at 4:30 on Friday. It was a very good meeting. I liked her very much - she was organized, empathic to some extent, and seemed to actually like her job and know it well. She presented us with a list of things she will need to see each visit, and thing we woudl talk about:
Medical Records & Medical Passport
Mental Health Records - First Steps Referral
Lifebook
Dates of past & upcoming visit
Dates of past & upcoming court dates
We talked about Cookie's pediatric appointments, and R. is going to request a First Steps assessment to see (at some point) if she has any problems as a result of Biomom's drug use. She thinks that cannot happen before Cookie is 6 months old.
We talked about the Lifebook, and we told her about taking digital pictures and taking Cookie to Wal-Mart. We really need to start scrapbooking, and I dread that because I have some weird belief that once I make the book, she will leave. I think this whole thing has made me superstitious.
Biomom will have 2 visits in February - the 14th and 28th for one hour each. Michael will be taking her to those.
Biomom hasn't done anything. She has been told to get drug tests, but she has given excuses for not going - ranging from "no transportation" to "I don't have any ID". Umm hmm. Okay. R. says she is very passive about everything. R. told us that Biomom was a child of the streets from the time she was 12, and that's about when she met Biodad - who at that time was 35. Yes, you read correctly - 35. She is now 23, and he is 46. Nice.
Court dates: (deep breaths, everyone...)
February 13th is a BIG DAY. This is the disspositionary hearing at which (are you ready?), R. is going to petition the courts for termination of parental rights. I had no idea this move would be made so soon. But, she is at the mercy of the courts on this. The judge could agree, or say "no" and give Biomom more time. R. think that the "worst case" will be that the judge gives Biomom 60 more days to get her act together. The "best case" would be agreement from the judge and that would begin the 30-day wait for Biomom to appeal. From there, all would be focused on getting Sugar Cookie adopted.
On adoption: (more deep breaths...)
The family that adopted Sugar Cookie's 2 siblings has been notified about her birth, but they have not responded as to whether they want her too. They want a definite "yay" or "nay" from them. R. believes that they would get the first chance to adopt her. This is different from our worker's position, who says that they would not because the siblings did not know each other. Ugh! I hate conflicting positions. Anyway, come to find out, Sugar Cookie's brother (age 4 or 6 - don't know which one is the boy) has some kind of cancer and Adoptivefamily has been in and out of hospitals with him. R. believes they will not want to now take on a newborn baby as well. We will see. R. hopes to know before the court date so that she can mark us down as the pre-adoptive family on "official" court papers.
There is also a relative that wants Sugar Cookie - a 16 year old girl who was emancipated because she got married. Yikes. R. says she cannot see them being approved for relative-care, but then again, stranger things happen. Still, can you imagine a 16-year old giving this baby what she needs - as well as looking out for any special needs that could develop?
So, let's spell out the "best case scenario": Past-Adoptive family says no, 16-yr. old relative doesn't check out, judge says "yes" to the PRT (parental rights termination), and WE are made the pre-adoptive family of record. That's a lot to ask for, but I've asked God for much more than that, and he's answered.
Of course, there are many ways this could all work out. Until then, we are doing well, and Sugar Cookie continues to grow like a weed, and make us smile like crazy. We try hard not to dwell on the things that could go "wrong", and just enjoy every day we have with her.
She'll be 6 weeks old tomorrow. She's produces more poop than I could ever have imagined such a small thing producing. In fact, last night I thought she was done pooping, and then as soon as I took the dirty diaper away and wiped her bum, she peed and pooped all over the changing table. She was then so thrilled with herself that she kicked her chubby legs all over the poop and me - all at 4:30 this morning. If she weren't so doggone cute, I'd have been more upset about it.
She's still working on learning how to smile, and she really enjoys the attention she gets at church.
You know, February will hold a lot of answers and changes for our family. We will know a whole lot about Sugar Cookie's future - maybe even for good. Until then, Michael and I so appreciate your prayers and good thoughts.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 1/30/2006 02:38:00 PM
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