A New House for Us and Cookie
Yes, Sugar Cookie is still here! And, yes, we are now in our new house.Wow, what a whirlwind.
First, my apologies for not posting sooner. I've tried to catch my breath wherever and whenever I can, and I've wanted to write for some time now. It just seems like whenever I do get a free moment, all my body wants to do is catch a few minutes of precious sleep. Even when I am awake, it seems like I'm too loopy to make sense of much of anything.
Cookie's doing really well now. Our first few days with her were a struggle for her and for us. She experienced some withdrawl from the cocaine in her tiny body, but we held her and massaged her and sang to her. On Christmas morning we took her to church and folks could tell we hadn't slept much. We were worried about Sugar Cookie as she hadn't eaten or slept hardly at all in 24 hours. We were about to call the doctor the next morning. But folks at church asked if after the service they could pray for the baby. Our friend John gathered folks around and he got down on his knees and knelt over the baby in her carrier and placed his hand on her tiny head and prayed for healing. Big fat tears streamed down my face as people took turns praying over her. I would have offered my own out loud, but I couldn't speak. I had been so afraid for her, and giving her over to God completely seemed to be the best solution. On the way home in the car, she slept. After we got home, she slept some more. Hours passsed, and then she woke up starving. No shaking, no screaming - just fussiness that a bottle and a cuddle quickly solved. Then, she was back to sleep. Since then, she's been a completely changed baby. She wants fed, changed, and cuddled - but other than that, she's good to go. She sleeps well, and eats well - no more shaking, no more screaming endlessly, no more periods of not eating. Sugar Cookie is a true miracle. As far as we can tell, she is absolutely perfect. And she gets cuter every day!
She was discharged from the hospital on December 22nd, and weighed 7 lbs. 1 ounce. When I took her to the WIC office last Thursday to get her formula, she weighed 8 lbs, 3 ounces. Hurray for weight gain!
We've watched as her color changed from a splotchy pink to a peachy beige. Her eyelashes have grown in, and her face has filled out. Her umbilical cord stump has fallen off, and she's gotten her first few baths - the first one freaked her out a bit, and the second one made her cry - here's hoping that gets better as she gets used to it. She still has peach-fuzz all over her back and arms. Her hair is thick and dark brown, and shiny and silky. Her eyes are dark blue and she is now focusing more during her awake hours. She loves to gaze into your eyes when you hold her, and she makes happy faces and reflex smiles that make you melt. We can't stop kissing her cheeks and the top of her head, or her tiny hands and feet. I rub her tummy when she gets changed and dressed, and while I'm changing her, I sing the "Naked Song" that I made up - about the joy of being naked (note to self: do not sign the "Naked Song" in public).
Last Tuesday the first "Family Team Meeting" was scheduled at the cabinet office. Michael took Sugar Cookie, and all the workers showed up. Everyone showed up except the biological parents. Apparently the biological parents have made no attempts to contact the state - even though the state has left messages and gone to the house. The biological parents would not answer the door. The case will be brought before a judge next month to determine the next course of action. If the bioliogical parents make no contact, the petition will be put in to move Sugar Cookie to a pre-adoptive track. Now, before you jump up and down with joy - let me tell you about a potential roadblock. Sugar Cookie has two siblings - a boy and a girl ages 4 and 6. They were adopted by their foster parents about a year ago. No one knows if this family would want Sugar Cookie. Apparently, the bias is with them to adopt her since there is a bias toward keeping siblings together. But in this case, no one thinks the family even knows that another child was born to these people. So, an attempt will be made to contact that family to let them know about Sugar Cookie. Our worker seems to think that the family cannot take another child. I'm hoping that we will be able to convince people that if we were to adopt Sugar Cookie, that we would make sure she got to know her siblings. We would work with the adoptive family to maintain contact and hopefully build a good relationship. I think that would be the right thing to do. But my idea of right isn't always how things work out.
Chances the biological family will get her back: slim to none. The bioliogical mother is addicted to cocaine, the biological father has been conviced of sodomy of a minor family member and is a registered sex offender in his previous county (I looked him up). Interestingly enough, he is not registered in our county as an offender. I would never have guessed (*insert sarcastic eye-roll here*). Their two older children were already adopted out because they did not follow their case plan in their previous county. The workers believe it will be the same thing here - that people are creatures of habit. But who knows, really. It is a horrible, horrible case. I googled the news reports to see the details of previous arrests. It made me physically ill.
Now we wait. Every time the phone rings and I see that it is the cabinet office, my heart stops. I fear it's a call telling us that Sugar Cookie is going elsewhere. I don't think that will ever change until she were to legally be ours for good. We are so in love with her. My feelings for her are so different than those I've had for any other child before. She was my Christmas miracle. She now has her own room in our new house. We haven't held back at all. We are treating her like she is ours. If the day comes that she is not, we will deal with that then. Now, we are a family - Michael and I and Sugar Cookie, and the two cats - Callie and Macy Gray. And we have a beautiful new home to live in.
The movers came on Friday and got the furniture over to the new house. Now, the crib is in our bedroom - that seems to make a lot more sense than going down the hallway every time she wakes up and needs to be fed. The place is littered with boxes galore, and I was doing well to find an outfit to wear to work today. The important things are in place - our bed, the crib, baby clothes, diapers, cat food and water, litter box, and stocked fridge. Most of our clothes have been put away and the living room is starting to take shape. If you can navigate the boxes, it's actually pretty livable. Our commute to campus in the mornings has only increased by about 10 minutes, and for Lexington that's not too bad.
We really have been blessed.
Our worker is coming to visit today to see the new house and write up her observations in our home study (I hope she likes the liquor-store-box decor we have going on now). Sugar Cookie's new permanent case worker might be coming too. If so, that would save us another home visit this month.
We made a scheduling error, and the folks are coming to set up our digital cable and internet (and DVR!!) at the exact same time our worker is supposed to be there. Perhaps we could invite some more folks over to observe the chaos that is now our house.
Sugar Cookie has her first visit to the pediatrician tomorrow. Her birth mom had Hepatitis B and C, so Sugar Cookie will have needs in that area as well. I'm sure the doctors will be pleased with her progress.
For now, it is back to work for me. Michael will be taking Sugar Cookie to the office with him for several hours a few times a week for the next three weeks. After that, we will be able to enroll her in day care. Ugh, my heart stops when I think about leaving her with strangers. A young woman from our church works at the day care we have selected, so there is some comfort in knowing that C. will look out for her and give her lots of love and cuddling.
I don't want to be at work today, but whatever baby becomes ours will need to go to grad school someday (*grin*), so I need every dollar I can make now!
Now, if I could just focus...
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 1/09/2006 10:17:00 AM
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