Timeline
Since I asked others to sort out their timeline of becoming foster-to-adopt parents, I figured I should create my own (with some other things thrown in for good measure), so here goes:March 20, 2004 - Michael and I get married in Mississippi
June, 2004 - I move to Lexington, KY from Columbus, GA
August, 2004 - Michael moves to Lexington from Athens, OH - thus ending our long-distance relationship
December, 2004 - I become gainfully employed full-time at UK
January, 2005 - I go to my new GP, and am diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
(PCOS). I am prescribed Metformin to reduce testosterone levels and regulate my cycles.
March, 2005 - To make it a double-whammy, Michael gets several SAs, and is diagnosed as
sub-fertile. I do not handle the news well.
April-June 2005 - I take in foster kittens with the Humane Society to try to make myself feel
better. It is only a partial fix.
June, 29, 2005 - Michael and I attend the Orientation Meeting for becoming foster parents.
July, 2005 - We take MAPP classes to become foster-to-adopt parents
July 25, 2005 - First Home Visit with the social worker who teaches our class
August 11, 2005 - Last MAPP class
August 19, 2005- Second Home Visit with our permanent R&C worker
August 26-28, 2005 - We do respite care for Bumble Bee, a 3 yr. old AA little girl
September 15, 2005 - OUR APPROVAL IS FINAL - we are officially put on the on-call list for placements.
September 24& 25, 31 & 32 - We do respite care for a group of 3 siblings - a 7 mo. old baby girl
and her 21 mo. old twin brothers. We decide we will never take 3 kids at
once.
October 5, 2005 - We get our FIRST PLACEMENT - we go to the hospital to get a newborn
baby boy. The floor is in lock-down while the birth mother is arrested and
taken away and we leave with baby and security guards.
October 6, 2005 - 23 hours later, I get a call that baby is being returned to the mother because
charges were dropped. I take the baby to the cabinet office and cry the whole
way there and the whole way back. I am offered no explanation and am
thanked for being "so flexible". Michael is at work, and doesn't even get to say
goodbye.
October 21, 2005 - We get our SECOND PLACEMENT - Howard (age 4) and Autumn (2 mo.) are brought to our house and we fall madly in love with them. We get their clothes, WIC, enroll them in daycare - and then...
November 1, 2005 - 10 days later, Howard and Autumn are placed with relatives.
November 16, 2005 - We turn down our first placement, saying "no" to taking a 3 yr. old little boy who has been physically abused. The call came in the middle of the night while I was alone and my husband was out of town - it would have been impossible.
November 30, 2005 - We turn down our second and third placements, saying "no" to taking a group of 3 children who would likely be up for adoption soon. An hour later, we turn down taking two siblings - ages 2 and 4 who's "grandmother had been drinking" because we saw that as potentially a very short-term placement.
December 13 - We get out THIRD PLACEMENT (fourth child) - a newborn baby boy from the hospital that we nickname "Lil Snapper". We sense it may be short term. We are right.
December 16, 2005 - Lil Snapper goes to live with his grandmother. Why they couldn't have done that from the start is beyond me.
December 21, 2005 - I make an appointment with a private adoption agency to do a home study so we can do a private domestic adoption. On the way home in the car, I cry loudly to God - out loud - pleading with him as to why I cannot have a child of my own. I confess that I am extremely unhappy as it is the holidays and just got another brutal reminder that I do not have children. I feel good about my decision to take action instead of sitting around miserable.
December 22, 2005 (the very next day) - Less than 24 hours later, I get a call for our FOURTH PLACEMENT (fifth child). She is a newborn - 2 days old. Our worker asks if we can pick her up at the hospital, but we can't because we are closing on our new house at 3:00. She asks, "Can you take her at, say, 4:30?" We close on the house, and meet the worker and the baby at our place. We find out then that the baby was born addicted to cocaine. We are terrified.
December 25, 2005 - on Christmas morning, folks at church pray over baby girl, now nicknamed "Sugar Cookie" by my dad. We head home, and she never again experiences withdrawl symptoms or distress.
January 7, 2006 - We move into our new house with a new baby. It is the most grueling experience of my life.
February 28, 2006 (today) - I come into work late, and am told there is King Cake in the breakroom for Mardi Gras. I take a small piece, bite into it, and get the baby. Everyone at work thinks this is the coolest, except Jennifer, the secretary, who had already eaten darn near half the cake trying to get the baby. I am now typing with a tiny plastic baby on my computer keyboard. I think it is a reminder that there is much excitement yet to come, and many unfinished chapters to the Michael and Tamara story.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 2/28/2006 09:41:00 AM
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