The Crib Saga Continues
Well, we moved the crib back into our bedroom. In retrospect (and after talking to my mom), we decided that the move may have been a bit too traumatic and sudden for Cookie.Since birth she had been sleeping between us in our bed (co-sleeping). It was great for her, and especially good for the time that we were dealing with withdrawl symptoms and the restless sleep patterns that many drug-exposed babies experience. The constant getting up and down wore us out.
As the months moved on, it became harder and harder to get her into the crib, and it became "easier" to just bring her to bed with us. She always fell asleep quickly snuggled up next to us, and she was down to waking up only once or twice in the night (until teething hit - which was another story entirely). I'll admit it, the intimacy that we have experienced as a family there is that king-sized bed has been amazing. We can all fall asleep hearing and smelling and feeling each other. There is no other experience like it in the world.
When we tried to move her out of our bed and into her crib AND into the nursery - all at the same time, it probably felt to her like her world was ending. She looked like her world was ending, and cried like it too. I imagine I could have put her in the backyard or in the car in the garage and she's have felt the same way. It thought about how I would have felt - having to get used to sleeping alone, in a different bed (with bars!), and then being put in a different room all alone. It was probably too sudden.
Michael volunteered (yes, I said volunteered) to move the crib back into our bedroom last night, and I then volunteered to take Cookie grocery shopping while he did that so he could have a bit of peace in the house (though his "peace" was most likely accompanied by ESPN).
We decided to take the transition to the crib one step at a time for Cookie's sake, and for ours. So, last night she slept in the crib in our bedroom - about 5 feet away from my side of the bed against the wall in the corner. We have an enormous bedroom (I think it's 14' x 30' with vaulted ceilings which was one reason I loved this house), so its not a space issue at all.
Our one mistake was keeping Cookie up too late last night because she got a little "wired" and cranky, but she was in her crib fast asleep from 11:00 to 4:30 - that's a half-hour longer than the record! Now, I didn't say that I slept that long because, well, married folks need together time too. Hehehehe. Bom chicka bom bom! TMI! TMI!
When Cookie woke up at 4:30, Michael popped right up out of bed, scooped her up and carried her downstairs and rocked her back to sleep before I even knew what was going on. It was very, very sweet of him - and he said she really didn't want a bottle and was back to sleep in about 15 minutes, though he stayed downstairs about 30 minutes total and watched some TV to make sure she was fast asleep - then he put her back in the crib, and she slept there until my alarm went off at 6:30, and which point I laid her in bed with Michael while I showered and got ready for work - thinking she would be up and about. Nope - she fell back asleep next to him and they slept until it was time to take me to work (my car's in the shop).
So, I think this may be the answer. Cookie needs to learn that the crib is where she sleeps. After that, moving it to another room will be the next logical transition. I don't mind her in our bedroom. I do mind her in our bed all the time. Once I realized the toll it had taken on our intimate life and sex life, I knew something had to change.
For the record, we both agree that co-sleeping worked for us. It was the best bonding experience, and the closeness and intimacy we have with Cookie is amazing. She knows how we feel, and is so comfortable and happy and confident. It was a great decision for us. If/when we have another baby placed with us, we will co-sleep again. It is right for who we are as a couple, and who we want to be as a family.
In other developments, I cried in church yesterday. The message was about God talking to us, and how to discern God's talk and will, and how to separate that from other messages. I've been feeling a push lately to put our names back on the list for placements for foster-to-adopt. I know that in our state, that really means taking in children for foster care and letting the cards fall where they may - there is never a guarantee that a child will stay. But I feel drawn to this - and it repeats and won't go away. But it feels insane - I mean, we are just now getting sleep, and we have a good schedule and a semi-clean house, and adoption is still up in the air in terms of time frame. How could we possibly do that? I don't know why I'm feeling this way, and I don't know if that means I am supposed to have faith that God will provide and only send us the children we are supposed to have at the right time and that He will provide for our needs. If I weren't a believer, I'd never do it - knowing that the state will "dump" as many kids on you as they possibly can. Ugh. We are coming up on the time of year when we see a "baby boom". More babies are born in September than any other month. Our social worker told us that last month, there were 10 cocaine-addicted babies placed in foster care that she knew of. Dang. Guess there would be no lack of children. But I need to feel certain about this before I approach my husband. My logic tells me to wait until the adoption is final - but if I wait until then, will I be willing to do it?
So, there's lots of fascinating things going on here. But maybe I'm just supposed to say...
C is for Cookie. That's good enough for me.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 8/14/2006 10:07:00 AM
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