July Meeting w/ Cookie's SW
This morning R. came by and we chatted briefly. Unfortunatley, there is little to report. But, here's the update:Biomom is still AWOL. When/if she is ever found, she will be arrested for violating her probation.
Biodad is still sitting pretty enjoying the next nine years behind bars courtesy of the taxpayers of the state of KY. He has not asked for a lawyer to appeal the upcoming TPR.
No court date - because the courts can't assign a date for a TPR hearing when they are unable to serve Biomom. Great. So, because she is still AWOL, the next step is that a special investigator is appointed by the court to document that attempts were made to try to find her. The wait once that happens: another 60 days. At that point, special investigator can file a motion with the court to go ahead with the TPR. There is nothing R. can do except wait for the courts and "the system" to run its course. Which means, there is nothing we can do except wait as well...and pray.
So, this is our new prayer:
Please pray with us that Biomom is found and arrested and sent back to jail.
That sounds harsh, but the longer it takes for her to be found, the more cocaine she can use. The more she uses, the more likely she is to overdose - and possibly die. If you read about cocaine, you learn that overdoses happen because the body gets "used" to the drug, and more and more is needed. But on occasion, the body can shift and suddenly become "resensitized" - and if that happens, the results can be fatal.
We don't want Biomom to die a junkie. I don't want to ever have to tell my daugher that her birth mom killed hersef shooting up. I want her life to be saved. I want a miracle for her. I want healing.
If Biomom is found and taken back to jail, the courts can move forward with TPR. This is the best case all around. If she is never found, not only will it take as much as 6 months to a year longer for us to adopt Cookie, Biomom is more at risk of dying, or getting pregnant again.
I almost got upset this morning when R. left. I felt let down. It felt like everything had come to a stand-still. I hate not making progress - moving forward. Ugh.
Mh husband said it best: "She's not going anywhere, Tam. She's ours. This doesn't change that."
I know, I have to keep my faith. So much of this is a "done deal". We are very fortunate. We have a lovely daughter who is healthy and happy (when her new emerging teeth aren't making her mad), who learns so fast, and is loved by so many.
In other news, Cookie is now crawling over to the sofa and climbing up to a standing position all by herself now. It is fabulous and scary.
On the teething front, I tried the teething tablets, and nothing changed. She sounded so congested and was coughing, so Michael went ahead and took her to the pediatrician. We figured it was best - and it's not like it costs us anything anyway - better to be proactive we figure. I'll report tomorrow if there's anything other than teething to report. I imagine the doctor will tell us we're worrying too much - but you never know. Ear infections have picked up at daycare - that's one we don't want to re-visit again - been there, done that - not fun either.
On the mental health front, I'm hanging in there. You all - I gotta tell ya, it was absolutely wonderful to get all of you r encouraging notes and comments - it truly does make a difference to know you're not alone, not going crazy - and that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. So often, we try to be all things to all people, and drive ourselves crazy. We can't. There's no way.
So, I spent the best $80 I have ever spent in my life and hired someone to do housecleaning for me. When I got home from work on Tuesday, it was near spotless. We still have stacks of things to put away, but the cleanliness was a powerful lifesaver. I highly recommend it. It was like I was somehow cleansed too - and I was so inspired that I cleaned off the island in the kitchen as well as the baker's rack, and I have now taken pictures of about 50 pieces of baby clothes to either ebay or cheapcycle. In 2 more weeks, my angel of a housekeeper will return and do it all again. I hope she never leaves. I am in love already. I wish I hadn't waited so long. On a funny note, hubby's bathroom was so clean, it did not smell like funky-guy. She had even cleaned the soap dishes and ceramic liquid hand-soap dispensers so they sparkled. Wowzers. Worth every penny.
We have to protect our sanity - we parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, and parents-to-be. If we don't, we aren't doing anyone any good - we may THINK we are, but we aren't.
Oh, and I got a call for an interview for another job. It made me feel fabulous. One day I am going to hand in my 1-month notice here. It will feel great. Until then, I am fantasizing about it.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 7/27/2006 02:15:00 PM
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