4 days down and ? more to go
Whew! Where to start - holy cow the days have flown by. I'll have to write more about how the weekend went - about buying Halloween costumes, the talking deer head in Wal-Mart, the football games on TV, and all kinds of conversations. But for now - here's the basics:Monday morning I stayed home from work with Baby Autumn (who just turned 2 months). Michael woke up early Monday morning to get Howard (age 4) to his Headstart pre-school where he ran into our first speedbump - Howard only goes from 10-2 and they will not take him any earlier than 9:45 at the earliest. So, Michael called from his cell phone and was just going to take Howard in to work with him until he could go to Headstart. I picked him up at 2:00. He was flying higher than a kite. He had gotten an "apple award" at school and was wearing it around his neck. It said "I had a good day today and was the apple of my teacher's eye!" He had been a good boy. His teacher was so happy and said she had seen a real change in him - literally overnight. We were thrilled as much as he was. He had to call Michael on the cell phone on the way home to tell him. I hung his apple award on the fridge. Also now on the door of the fridge are alphabet magnets and a crayon drawing that he made. I wanted him to feel at home, even though this is so very painful for him. More about that later.
We are waiting to set up daycare arrangements for Autumn. Howard will go to the Head Start that he already goes to. We would like to keep him there because he goes to speech therapy. He's a bit tough to understand, and can't pronounce k, b, v, w - etc. The fact that one of his front teeth was knocked out in a fall he took off a scooter doesn't help matters I suppose. Other than that tiny thing, he seems like a normal and healthy 4-year old. He is, however, very sad about being away from his family. He says he wants to go home (of course he does!) several times a day. he gets sad at night and cries a little. We try to comfort him as best we can. Last night after he got in bed after storytime and prayers, he told us he was scared. We explained that it is okay to scared, and we told him about times we were scared too. Alone with him, I told him that it helps to pray to Jesus because he loves us and wants us to be happy. I told him he could tell me whenever he was afraid, and that if he didn't want to tell me, he could tell Jesus. I rubbed his forehead and back across his head until he was snoring little kid snores. He slept through the night, and there was no wet bed this morning thanks to a pull-up. He wet the bed the second night but we didn't discover it until nap time after church yesterday. Michael just whipsered it to me and when Howard wasn't looking he stripped the bed and washed everything up. Howard noticed when Michael was re-making the bed - but we assured Howard that it was "no big deal". My sense is that it is just the trauma. Otherwise, potty time is no big deal.
Autumn is a pretty little baby with thick black velvety curls all over her head. She doesn't cry a whole lot, but does get fussy when she's hungry or just wants to be held. Her favorite place to sleep is crashed out on top of our tummies while we relax on the sofa. Sunday night after Howard was asleep, Michael and I watched game 2 of the World Series in bed with her. She stared at the game more intently than Michael did.
Today (Tuesday) I decided to come in to work today. I had a lousy day here at work. I got a call at 11:00 from the WIC lady saying she's gotten the stuff straightened our, but the only time she could see me was 11:30. I had to run home and grab their paperwork and head across town to the WIC offices. I was late. My boss stopped me on the way out to say we "need to work this out" about me just taking off whenever I needed to do something now that "{you} are a parent". Screw her, I thought. Then I cried all the way to the WIC office. When I got back, I vented with my immediate supervisor about it, and I felt somewhat better. Darn it, I wish I could afford to just quit. This A.S.S. woman sucks.
Michael took Autumn with him to work, and she had a busy morning being (as he called it) - the Belle of the Ball. During the afternoon, she slept. She even slept in her carrier all during the class he taught. I am glad for that.
Right now Michael is on his way to pick up Howard. He has Autumn in the car too. I am about to head out myself.
All I want to do now is go home to my filthy house with the mounds of dirty laundry covered with spit-up and formula and be with the kids. I want to hear about how Howard's day was for his first full day at daycare and Head Start. I want to hold Autumn and feed her a warm bottle. I want to wash some laundry and smell the now-familiar smell of formula, 4-year old boy, and spit-up. I have seen more spit-up in 4 days than I have my entire life up until now.
Will we be able to keep them? Hmm. I guess it's a toss-up. Some relatives have called the cabinet office and apparently want them. They will have to be checked out before they can be placed with them. If no suitable relatives are found, it might be a good chance we could keep them. I'm already attached. I won't lie. It will be awful if they leave. I will have to take off work to cry.
I want to write about all the cute stories and things they do. But honestly, I am scared to death. The more I talk and write about how nice it is, the harder it will be if they leave.
They are great kids.
Please pray for Howard (which, of course, if not his real name). He is very sad at night and misses his family. He knows where his mom is. He does not think he has a father. He doesn't understand why he was taken away from his granny's house. He says everyday that he wants to go home. He said the other night that he was lonely. We don't have a magic wand to make his hurt go away. Please pray that he is comforted, and continues to get better.
I so wish I could post pictures! My social worker said I can send any of my friends - including any of my reader-friends out there any pictures I want. So, if you want to see the little ones, let me know and I'll send you a picture. They are so beautiful!
More to come...
Tamara
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 10/24/2005 05:13:00 AM
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