The Nesting Foster Mom-To-Be
Gradually my already natural compulsions to buy things have gone haywire. I find myself sidetracked during my workdays thinking about things I need to buy for a foster child who hasn't even arrived in our home. I read Cindy's blog as she and her husband create a playroom and a nursery and post pictures of the process. Oh, my husband is lucky we are renting the place we are in now - or he'd see sawdust flying! I'd be painting and shopping and taking vacation from work just to get things ready. Apparently, in my mind I already am.I've never done the "nesting" thing I've read about (or at least I don't think I have) - until now. I have the urge to paint and hang things, and assemble furniture, and re-decorate. I have the urge to look at cute, fuzzy, fluffy, and cuddly things. Most folks who know me, know full well that I do not gush over babies, look in the baby and children's departments, or think about things like consumer product recalls of children's products. Now, I am a full-blown expert. I could rattle off the names of recalled cribs, bassinets, and strollers for the past 10 years (so as to avoid buying one at a year sale or consignment shop).
I have been shopping on ebay for crib bedding (yet I have not yet bought a crib), and ooohing and aahing at all the cute sets while wondering why I couldn't stop. I'm making lists in my head of big things to buy: crib, mattress, changing table, changing pad, glider rocker, crib bedding, baby bathtub, and the obligatory Diaper Genie. Then I think about a slew of little things: diaper bag, baby wash, shampoo, diaper rash cream, powder - the list goes on and on. I've spent time looking a mobiles only to have my mother remind me about infant development - that infants can't focus well, and that they are quickly overstimulated. Hence, mobiles make very little sense. Apparently, research has indicated that a smiley face drawn on a paper plate is more stimulating to an infant than those $40 fancy schmancy mobiles. In conclusion, cute mobiles are for parents, not children. Research even indicates that the fussier we make a nursery with colors and patterns and baby accoutrements, the more fussy a baby we are likely to have. Mom suggested white, black, and red for the nursery in bolg geometric patters. So much for Peter Rabbit.
The rational side of me tells me not to do much of anything yet because we have no idea when a child will be placed with us, or if the child will be a newborn or a toddler. We don't even know whether to expect a boy or a girl. And the feminist in me a particularly disturbed at how early the gender stereotyping begins - before birth! I have yet to find anything sports-themed in anything other than blue - forget mixing baseball and pink. Girls get bedding sets in frilly pink with flowers and butterflies. Boys get trucks and puppies. You can even buy John Deer or Nascar crib bedding for your little bundle of joy. Yes, nothing says "cute little baby" quite like Nascar.
I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off on going out and buying a crib. There are so many choices, it's overwhelming. Convertible, 3-in-1, 4-in-1, and 5-in-one sets. There's white, natural, cherry, and all kinds of finishes in-between. Some cost as much as my king-size bed did. Then there are the plain old cribs. They are just a crib - period. I like those. There are no bells and whistles. It is a crib...for a baby. When baby outgrows it, I will buy a toddler bed. There - I have decided...I think.
The biggest thing that this "nesting" has me doing is obsessing about buying a house. I think a kid should have a yard. When I was told to "go outside and play", I didn't see pavement - I saw grass and trees. My husband had the same experience, and neither he nor I grew up wealthy. I looked at new condos for sale, and thought that would be perfect. Then I thought about having a child living with us, and it seemed sad. Where would a child go play? In the parking lot? In the street? I guess there are a lot of kids who do just that. But I want to do better. I want to be able to set up one of those little wading pools in the back yard in the summer, and a badminton net, or croquet. I want to be able to hide Easter eggs, and string up Christmas lights in the yard. I want to plant flowers with my kids, and teach them about birds and plants. Yes, a house is a definite must now. Again, my poor husband does not have the least bit of understanding about my "gotta do this now" rush. He'd be perfectly happy to live in an apartment forever. he does not think about new cars, houses, or, well - the future much. He's a live-in-the-present and be content with what you've got kind of guy. In many ways, that's a blessing - a man who's content with what he has doesn't demand a lot of his partner. But I digress.
So, I'm nesting. I need a "Nester's Anonymous" meeting. We can all sit around and admit to not sleeping because we're designing nurseries and children's rooms in our heads. And then we can laugh at the people we've become. After all, I rather like this new me. She's pretty giddy, and she's 34, and she'll make a very good mom.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 7/28/2005 04:31:00 PM
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