Adventures in On-Line Dating
Jar-Jar Binks Man, "I Love You" Golf Boy, Foot-Fetish Andy Griffith Man, and the Preacher Man are four of the most entertaining stories I have from my summer of on-line dating.When Michael broke up with me during that fateful spring of 2003, I was hell bent on getting right back in the swing of things. I needed to date!
I decided that I was through with trying to meet men the conventional way, so I decided to venture into the world of internet dating. I tried Matchmaker.com and met a few fascinatingly raunchy people. It was quite the experience weeding out folks with email or a single phone conversation. People who have a difficult time getting beyond asking me, "So, whatr ya doin'?" don't score very high in my book. There was Jim, the guy in Dayton, Ohio who wanted to photograph me in lingerie, and kept emailing me pictures of things he would like to see me in. There was Mark, who was a self-absorbed investor in Atlanta. And there was Eddie James, who worked for Bell South and drove a sweet little red convertible BMW. He sent me pictures of him on the beach wearing nothing but bluejeans. Sweet mercy. There was also the guy who did nothing but email me telling me how he'd like to brush my hair.
One of my most memorable Matchmaker dating experiences was with Joey, a "golf pro" (well, he worked in the golf pro shop and played a lot anyway). He lived about an hour out of town, and drove in to meet me for our first date - dinner with me and my girlfriend Carol. (I was always cautious about these initial meetings). Come to find out, Carol had once worked for this guy's dad, and had known him when he was a little kid. Figuring things were safe, after dinner Joey and I went to see a movie. To this day, I cannot remember what we saw. I only remember not being able to concentrate on the movie. Joey got a little happy-handed, and kept kissing my neck and asking if I wanted to leave the movie and go back to my place. I tried to politely tell him I'd actually like to watch the movie. I was disappointed because I thought he might be a nice guy. Turns out, he was quite nice - and quite desperate and pathetic too. Back at my place I offered him a drink and we sat on the porch and talked a little. But soon it was time for him to head out - and he went in for the kiss. I turned my head so he missed my lips - and he kind of half-caught me - then this statement: "This is exactly what I've been looking for. I love you, Tamara." Whoa, nelly. Hold on Sparky. I told I'd had a nice time too, but that I didn't want to rush anything. I spent the rest of the summer trying to get him to stop calling me and proclaiming his love. My girlfriends referred to him as "I Love You Golf Boy". I declare they don't even remember his name.
After that, I decided to get off Matchmaker and give the much-advertised E-Harmony a shot. I took the free personality profile which took me no less than 2 hours to complete. I wondered about the quality of people I might find. After a bitter phone conversation with Michael that made it clear he was not interested in reconciling, I slapped down $250 for a year's membership to eharmony. Let the dating begin!
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 7/18/2005 10:45:00 AM
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