By October 1, 2006?
In 6 months we could be forever parents to Sugar Cookie. That estimate came from Cookie's social worker on her monthly visit last to our home last night. Needless to say, I was pleasantly shocked. I'm also realistically skeptical. R. said she has never has an adopion of a child in foster care finalized before their first birthday, so the speed at which Cookie's case runs could be a first for her. But this case is perhaps as "tidy/messy" as they come with Biodad incarcerated for at least 9 years and Biomom badly addicted (as if there is a good addicted) to cocaine. No relatives could be approved mainly because of their own history with the state and the law. Everything now rests in the hands of the judge, God, and time.R. is putting together the 161 packet. The deadline for completion of that and submission to the court is May 15th, but R. could do it herself and have it finished before then. She says it may come down to that since she is so familiar with the case and it is a relatively simple process. The case will be presented to the judge in closed quarters, and he will decide right then and there on the termination of parental rights. If that is approved, we wait another month to see if there are any appeals from the Bioparents. If not, our family will be moved to yet another worker who handles all of the adoptions from foster care in our area. She will have to put together a whole new set of paperwork on us, and then there is another month wait. A lot will depend on her speed as well.
It would be nice to be forever parents by Christmas, 2006. We got such a wonderful gift in getting Suagr Cookie on December 22nd. It would be great to have the ink dry by this Christmas and be her forever family.
Of course, R. stressed that anything could happen. She has to tell us that - it's her job and I'm glad she's honest.
My parents are reserved, yet hopeful. I finally got up the nerve to ask them if they hadn't asked about coming up to meet Sugar Cookie because they were afraid of falling in love with her, only to have her taken away. Mom admitted that they were very afraid and that even seeing pictures is hard on them. Selfishly, I wanted to scream "Hard on you? Hard on YOU! Geez, grow some cahones! Take a risk! Every month you waste in meeting her is a month you miss of getting to see her grow up. What if you completely miss the first year of her life before you meet her?" But I didn't. I said I understood. In a way I did, and in a lot of ways I don't. We didn't turn down placements of children in our home because we were afraid they would leave - and they did leave. And more may come and leave one day again. But we took the risk, and it has been more than worth it. People tell us all the time that they couldn't be foster parents because "[I] couldn't handle it when they left." Well, yes you can. You cope. You regroup, mourn the loss of that child in your home, and rejoice and celebrate what you and the child gained.
Would it be hard if Sugar Cookie had to leave one day? Oh, hell yes! Would be grieve? More than is possible to describe. Would we live and still pursue fostering to adopt? Undoubtedly, yes. Last year, more than 700 children were adotped in Kentucky from foster care alone. About 80% of those adoptions were by the foster parents. Yeah, I like our chances. I like knowing I can save one child from a life of violence, crime, and abuse. I like knowing one more child is safe today, and will be tonight. Cookie is enjoying the good life. The joy in watching that is, well, ...
I can only recall singing a hymn in church when I was growing up that I am just now beginning to understand. It went like this:
"It is joy unspeakable and full of glory, full of glory, full of glory.
It is joy unspeakable and full of glory, oh the half has never yet been told."
The half has never yet been told. Yup, the story's not even half over. God has a whole lot more to reveal to us.
I've been thinking about those of you linked from this site, and how I've truly come to care about what God is doing in your families. I pray more about people I've never met, and it has been wonderful to see how closely aligned our experiences are. We wait on news regarding bioloigical parents, visitations, court dates, and pediatric appointments. Some of us wonder about peeing on a stick "one more month" or seeing a reproductive endocrinologist "just once more", or trying IUI "just one more round" would be worth it. Some of you have adopted children and face new parenting challenges that I won't face for years down the road. I'm taking mental notes. It is no accident that our paths have crossed in this medium - there would have been no other way. I think of all of you out in Texas (or about to move to TX) and wonder how on earth I could come to know so much about you all the way over here in Kentucky. God sent me to your stories to better understand my own circumstances, or to encourage me to take the actions I was afraid to take on my own.
Now, I often write something knowing someone "out there" may be led here to my little site in blogland and be encouraged, uplifted, or just sense that they are not alone. Our story isn't all that unique - it has elements of all of your stories. I'm glad God gave me the strength to write about even the difficult things, and my many weaknesses.
So - 6 months. Even if it doesn't happen by October 1st, every day we live is one day closer we get to fulfilling our purpose on this planet. I mean, how cool is that? Even as I have put off my "work-work", I have fulfilled a bit of my calling. Yes, Lord!
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 3/21/2006 11:06:00 AM
<< Home