This Semester's Class
I'm pretty fortunate this semester. I've been fortunate ever since I started teaching here (except for one section of whiners my first semester in which I packed up and left class and told them I was not going to tolerate their bitching and whining any longer that day, and told them they were dismissed for the day). Since then, my classes have been pretty good - and always unique.I like arriving early for my 6:30 pm class. I like to leave work here and venture the short distance down the road to the community college so I can rest and rejuvenate from the 8-5 workday in order to get some energy to teach with that evening.
Simply put, I like my students. I like being around them. I enjoy hearing their stories, learning about where they work, their family backgrounds, their kids, and their personalities. I like presenting them with fascinating things to think about. I love it when something doesn't quite sit right with them, or when a theory goes against their upbringing, attitudes, or previously held beliefs about the world.
I realized Wed. night before class how much I enjoy being in their presence. There are round tables and chairs in a study area just around the corner from the classroom. Since there is another class in there before us, folks congregate out there. Students come straight from work since trying to go home between work and class often seems like a waste of time.
On Wednesday, students gathered early at the tables. While I was physically and mentally exhausted, I enjoyed just sitting there talking with them and listening to them. K. talked about his 5 yr. old daughter and 2 yr. old son his love for Batman movies. He told us about his trip to Disneyworld this summer with them. The whole group somehow got on the topic of cartoons, and we all named the ones we loved as kids. We mentioned characters like Foghorn Leghorn, the chickenhawk, Snagglepuss, Deputy Dog, Hong Kong Phuey, and Chilly Willy the penguin. We talked about Bugs Bunny, and how P.'s son wondered if Bugs was gay (he did, after all, kiss Elmer Fudd and cross dress for a laugh). We talked about Romper Room and the Electric Company and Captain Kangaroo. It was just great. How I wished we could have just had class out there and talked about cartoons and children's programming.
I decided I need to jump on ebay and buy some kids' movies and videos. I need some Disney stuff. I need stuff that K. mentioned like Dora the Explorer, the Wiggles, and Travis the Train. I'm glad I have students who have more of a life outside of work than I do. I guess living vicariously sometimes has its merits.
We got to talking in class about how our families influence our self-esteem. We'd like to think that we can grow up, and even if our parents don't approve of us or the things we do, we can dismiss it and move on. We'd feel more comfortable thinking our self-esteem and self-worth as adults had no connection to our parents. We wish. So desperately we wish. I dropped an example that might have been too revealing. I said that while I had decent self-esteem and was 34 years old, a university administrator and part-time professor - my father still had a great deal of influence on my self-esteem. He did not, nor does he now, approve of my marriage to a black man. He does not approve of the choices I have made in life. He has dropped the "n-bomb" (the n-word) in conversation (well, in talking at me) to refer to African Americans. He has been very open in accusing me of ruining my life by marrying a black man. His disapproval and bigotry bothers me very much. A. asked in class if I didn't just feel sorry for my dad instead of letting it affect me. My answer - both. I feel sorry for my dad. But AI also want to be liked and approved of, especially by my parents. No amount of therapy will ever change my desire to be approved of by my dad.
It was a good class. I hope I didn't share too much. I often share personal examples to illustrate points - or allow them to share personal examples if they'd like. A. has been open about sharing her experiences having a son with autism and the challenges they faced and how infant massage helped her son. The males in the class are great at sharing masculine examples, or the male perspective where my own falls short. So far, we've learned about attachment and bonding, the basics of communication and interpersonal relationships, why we form relationships, the different types of attraction, Social Exchange Theory, Knapp's stages of relationship development, family identity scripts, self-esteem and self-concept. We've really covered a lot in this first month of class. I'm really having a blast with them, and hope they are getting more than their money's worth. So many times I see folks who say they are "just at a community college". And I feel so bad. What can I do? So I try to give them the very best of me and what I have to offer. I put myself out there and push and challenge, and encourage and guide. And I tell them that I've taught at private institutions where tuition is 25K a year - and that they get no less from me here than they would have gotten from me there. It's all I can do.
But seriously, this class rocks.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 9/16/2005 12:55:00 PM
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