We Have An Attorney!
The attorney we were hoping would be willing to handle our adoption has agreed to do it - and direct bill the state for the $1000 we are allowed, and then we will have to pay $125 an hour after that (which is a very reasonable rate, all things considered). This attorney adopted her son from foster care in July, and is hoping to get another child again soon. Clearly, she understands "why anyone would do this", which seems so often to be a mystery to those on the outside looking in.The attorney told us that we are likely to end up paying about $500 out of pocket, and that there are hourly expenses that are unpredictable. The example she gave was of a recent adoption she handled during which she spent 2 hours in the courthouse just waiting for the judge to show up (to the tune of an extra $250 for her clients). That may seem unreasonable, but consider the other option of the flat-fee attorney who drags their feet with the case. We could find cheaper, but we will never find someone who understands more about wanting an adoption to be finalized as quickly as possible.
Tomorrow is Cookie's 1 year birthday. We have nothing to do now except celebrate it. There are no papers to fill out, no attorneys to talk with, no deadlines approaching, no visits with birth parents to contend with. It is all very easy now. We understand that our case is atypical. It happens, but it is far from the norm. Had Cookie's birthmom not gone AWOL, we would have had the adoption finalized by now, since TPR was petitioned for back in June right before she ran. That started the lengthy process of appointing a warning lawyer. I'm reminded how much each child's case costs the taxpayers in each state, and how countless hours are spent running in circles. Last week there was a session in Frankfort to discuss improving the foster to adopt system in this state. Ironically, we seem be be light years beyond other states when it comes to expediting the process. For this we are eternally grateful.
I think I am now a bit of an advocate. I talk to people about foster care. I don't sugar-coat it, but I don't gripe either. It is what it is - the best case scenario we currently have. We need more people who are willing to take the risks. Our attorney had 2 other babies she told me about - both stayed for just a few months before being turned over to family members. She spoke of it in a very matter-of-fact way, in much the same way I talk about Baby Ray, Baby Alex, Howard, and Autumn - babies and children who were meant to be in our arms for only a short time. Each one changed us a little, and each one made us a bit more patient and loving and grateful for the one who would stay to become our forever daughter. We would do it all again. We would do it for the rest of our lives if it meant we could have our daughter. I have a much greater embodied understanding of the depth of love and sacrifice people feel for their children. It is such that I have no words that do it justice.
Tonight I will be wrapping presents for my child for the very first time. As exhausted as I am, I shall try to savor the moment and remember how blessed I am to have both presents to wrap and a lovely little sprite to wrap them for.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 12/19/2006 02:07:00 PM
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