My Pre-Midlife Crisis

My Disease and Its Symptoms

I have wanevrionetolikeme disease. Maybe you haven't heard of it before. Maybe you are one of the million who are undiagnosed, or maybe you live with someone who has the disease. Maybe you are one of the few who has successfully sought treatment for wanevrionetolikeme and were healed. Maybe you have experienced relapses.

I have wanevrionetolikeme. I have been officially diagnosed by no less than 3 professional therapists on 3 separate occasions. There is treatment - it is called telthatruth, followed by strong doses of notholdinback. There are some extreme cases where some individuals go overboard with treatment and apply the ancient idongivafak technique, which works, but tends to alienate people and get you an entirely new set of friends you might have preferred not to have.

I need to start on a more frequent regimen of telthatruth, followed by suppliments of nawtevryonehastalikeme - the strongest antivirus there is to the disease.

I like it when I write things or say things that people respond well to. I like to be inclusive and supportive, and to make others feel good. But there are times I just want to tell whiney people to "build a bridge and get over it", and times I want to tell people more truth and less platitudes. Why do we say such crap so often when we don't even mean it? Its the disease, friends - wanevrionetolikeme is very powerful.

So, I am going to try telthatruth more often, and stop worrying so much about other people's overly-fragile egos and martyr complexes and recoveries from x-issue-of-the-day and what they might think of me.

Folks, let's live in the present. Let's rejoice in what we have. Let's share our grievances and issues and problems, then get back to work. We all have missions on this planet, and if we spend too much time wallowing in self-pity, then when are we going to work on that mission?

If all I do is coddle someone, how have I really assisted them in their journey? By indulging them and stroking them so they can further convince themselves that they are doing the exact right thing? Maybe they are. And maybe they're not. It's not my place to make that call. And maybe God sent some human here on earth to give them a good swift kick in the pants that sent the message to "stop feeling sorry for yourself". There a whole world out there of people hurting and problems that need resolving. What if everyone expected someone else to do it or someone else to say what is difficult to say while they laid there wallowing in the muck and mire of life? Please.

What if God wanted me to telthatruth, but I was so wrapped up in the wanevrionetolikeme disease that I failed in what He wanted me to do?

I do my fair share of supporting, but this wanevrionetolikeme disease has me doing and saying things I don't necessarily mean - and not speaking up when I should.

I'm gonna piss some folks off. But I might just motivate someone in the process. There's something to be said for honesty.

For example, I no longer read the PCOS online support group messages. All it is anymore is a bunch of feel-sorry-for-myselfers who have excuse after excuse for not getting off their hineys and doing something. Ugh. I can only take so much, you whiney women you. I have PCOS. I got laser hair removal when I could afford it. I take my Metformin even if I get the runs or cramps on occasion. I try to loose weight. I manage my depression with medication. I pray and concentrate on making decisions that will improve my future and allow me to follow God's will (which is most often NOT my will, mind you). I made tough decisions about how I would have children given our infertility - after finally submitting to God's will for our life. The "shocker" is how much BETTER life is following HIS will, and not struggling to do what WE want. In HIS will, there is freedom, and peace. Yeah, giving up your preconceived notions of the Cinderella life you had envisioned sucks. But oh the joy that comes in the morning.

And the joy...well, I make no apologies for. You can hate me forever for that.

posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 6/27/2006 04:20:00 PM