In order to get Cookie...
...I had to:get divorced - because my first husband was so irresponsible that I vowed I would never have children (thinking I was "stuck" with a lazy moron for life)
get PCOS - without that, I might have eventually had biological children
work hard to convince my now-husband that we could make our relationship work - he wasn't too sure about it all
go against the wishes of my parents and marry outside my ethnicity - we did not speak for a long time, and they did not attend the wedding
quit my job 1 year before tenure and move to Lexington, KY to be with my new husband - he had just moved there from a faculty position at Ohio U.
come to the decision that having a biological child was not necessary for a happy and full life
take my mother's advice (the mother who had rejected me a year earlier) and inquire about foster care
go through the entire training and certification process
surrender my heart and soul and mind and LIFE anew to God
pray without ceasing
keep taking placements even after the pain of having newborn babies quickly returned to birth families
decide not to visit family for Christmas 2005 on the "off chance" that we might get a call for a placement - had we left town and the call came in, we would have missed it
When I think about the choices we have made, and what I could have missed out on had I let the fear and doubt and second-guessing win, I am speechless. We are so blessed. It is a miracle that got us here.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 6/14/2006 05:09:00 PM
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