God Lookin' Out For Us
Oh sweet mercy, could I be busier? I haven't paid much attention to blogging these days, or to reading the blogs of my sisters and brothers in adoption-land. It is amazing what November has and will hold.My work responsibilities are changing with every passing day, and I am applying for other positions on campus. I have got to get out from behind a desk and mounds of papers.
Michael is traveling a lot for the next few weeks. Today he had to drive 4 hours to Athens, Ohio for a dissertation defense - he still sits on a few committees from his old stomping ground of Ohio University. The defense is at 6. If it lasts 2 hours and he leaves straightaway, he might be home by 1 in the morning. Then, he has a flight that leaves before 7 am tomorrow for a conference in Tampa. He'll be home a few days again, then off for a conference in Boston. The weekend after that is Thanksgiving, and after that we're already into December. I pray he just makes it through the semester in one piece. He's doing a great job, and managed to guest lecture in my class last night, and do a really terrific job.
Our place is a wreck. The kittens we were doing foster care for went back to the Humane Society today. The carpet in the room will have to be steamed cleaned, which is fine because I have a fabulous do-it-yourself machine, but oooohhh the work that takes. The kittens also slept in the crib, so all that bedding will have to be stripped and washed in case a baby comes into our home sometime soon.
I fret when my home is dirty. I don't fret too much over stacks and clutter. I am a stacker. I do not put things away like I should. Too often I leave it where I used it, or where I took it off, or where it was convenient for me to put it down when I was interrupted. We also have way too much stuff. We have clothes we have both "outgrown" or that are out of style that we cannot part with. We have momentos and memories, and Michael has more sweatshirts than an army of men in the dead of winter needs. And we have books. And we just bought four bags of books from the Friends of the Library book sale last weekend. So, my place is not just cluttered - it is dirty. The carpets have remnants of children running and eating and playing. The bathrooms have a layer of whatever builds up in bathrooms. The kitchen floor is just plain nasty. Those are the things I fret about.
To top it all off, we are trying to buy a house. Soon.
We've been looking at houses, and the first one Michael saw he decided he wanted...now. So, now we are trying to look at other homes quickly to decide if we want this one. And we are not wealthy. We will be financing 100%. Yeah, I know it is better to have 10 or 20%. We are just tired of renting. We are 34 years old, and its time we owned our own home. And we think a kid deserves a yard to play in and a room to call their own. Our lease expires in January, so we are trying to make it happen by then. We should be finished looking within the next few weeks. I bet we make an offer on something by the beginning of December, if not sooner. Then, it will be moving a ton of crap across town. Oh - and we live on the 3rd floor of our apartment complex and the place we are looking to buy is a 2-story with all 3 bedrooms upstairs. Do I even need to tell you we will be hiring movers?
The house we are looking at buying is really cute - 1689 square feet (not a big place), 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, nice little 12x14 wood deck/patio out back, and a very nice kitchen. The colors the previous owners painted the interior rooms is nothing short of hideous. The entry way and great room are painted beige down to waist level and baby blue down to the floor. The kitchen is sea-foam green (which I actually like). The 3 bedrooms are all different colors. One is painted light green, one is UK blue (dark blue), and the master bedroom is the color of pee (greenish light yellow). Gag. Painter would be a first. It looks so redneck do-it-yourselfer I can't even begin to explain it. The house is only 1 year old - such a shame to do that to such a lovely little house. Still, I can see us making an offer on the place, as paint color is a relatively minor issue and we'd get the remainder of the warranties. It's also affordable at 10K less than what we wanted to find a house for.
I'll probably go driving around this weekend looking at about 10 other houses our realtor sent me today. If I really like something, I'll set up a time Michael can see it while he's in town. Our realtor kept telling us that the house we like could be sold out from under us. I thought she was just a bit melodramatic about it. If it sells, it sells. There will be others up for sale as fast as that one sold. I guess I just don't think there is "one perfect house out there that I absolutely must have or I will die". I just want a nice place I won't have to fix up a lot. I want a lot of room. I want kids to be happy there, and I want my family to be safe. I want it to be a nice place we can feel good about coming home to at night. I want a nice place where Michael can like to work and do his writing. That's really all that is truly important.
So, the kittens are gone. Michael is traveling a lot for work. Our house is dirty. I am tired and changing a lot at work.
And we have no children - no placement. I wondered today if there is a reason for that - if God is just doing his normal "lookin' out for Tamara and Michael" thing. If I had to pick up two kids from daycare today and go home and try to feed them and bathe them and get them to bed by myself I just might cry as I am that wiped out - more emotionally, but physically too.
Michael thinks there's a good chance he could come home from one of these conferences to find there are new children in our home. Yup. There's a chance of that. After all, God does have a sense of humor. Just wait - he'll board the plane and I'll get a call saying there are twin babies available and do I want to take them. Yup - that would be just like me to have that happen.
It's now dark, and I'm heading home to my quiet apartment. I think I'll watch Jeopardy and eat something Michael would find disgusting that I really, really like. Then I shall take a bubble bath with a mudpack on my face. I shall actually shave my legs carefully. Then I shall get into comfy jammies and crawl into bed with the cats and wait for Michael to come home and wake me up with stories of his day. Ain't life grand?
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 11/10/2005 05:21:00 PM
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