Sex Lies!
OK, I'm officially pissed off and back on the road with the other raging lunatic feminists. I've been reading books and Christian press publication about how to be a better wife and partner to my husband and I have realized that we are being lied to.I want to know whoever published this crap about us women having to "put out" to keep our husbands from cheating and that this activity in the bedroom will somehow make us a more loving Christian wife and partner. From The Power of a Praying Wife to Optimizing Your Marriage, I have learned that I need to watch my figure and dress nicely, compliment my husband a lot (i.e. stroke his fragile ego), and have sex with him whenever he would like it (so he can stay true to his commitment to me). And I am insulted, and I am angry. These so-called Biblical interpretations insult me, and insult the good sense of every thinking, feeling woman I know.
Nowhere in any of these publications does it tell the men to have sex with their wives whenever they want it. No, if fact - it tells them to be more understanding of the fact that she probably won't be interested in sex very much. Apparently, these texts assume that when we become a Christian woman, that we loose all good sense AND our sexuality (probably simultaneously).
I have a vagina, and I like it. God had a good idea there when he gave woman a vagina. In fact, penises were a good idea (and they prove that God also has a sense of humor). And I like sex - a whole lot. And I would like to have it a whole lot. I'd like to have it more than I do. But apparently this is not my lot in life as a Christian woman. Apparently my husband is supposed to get his way - and have sex whenever and wherever he feels like it (and by omission NOT have it when he doesn't feel like it), and I get to submit because there is some ultimate touchy-feelie reward in the end somewhere that only the sanctified can see. I am not going to "put out" for anyone who isn't doing the same for me - period. This one has to work both ways.
Buying into this lie about sex means we buy into the same lies we used to buy into - that we are property, that sex is for men and their pleasure, that our bodies are not our own, that we are merely vessels, that "submission" means accepting whatever "bone" is thrown in our direction and not speaking out when our needs are not fulfilled.
Equal mean equal. We shouldn't need separate chapters or books about being a loving wife OR a loving husband. We need to be loving partners - there is no need for the gender difference here. The rules for me should be the same for my partner - male or female. If we are going to build sexually healthy relationships, the equality has to be there. And we've got to stop buying into the lie that women don't want sex. Yes, we want sex - we want more sex and we want better sex. We want to have sex on the sofa in the livingroom, in the kitchen, on the floor. We want to have sex more than once in a night, and we want more foreplay. We want more kissing. And we want you to do more than just lie there. And we want to be able to get it whenever we want it, too. Sex is for us, too. It is no wonder so many women these days are angry. I'm angry too.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 2/22/2005 11:16:00 AM
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