I Don't Give My Husband Enough Credit
This morning I was reminded how blessed I am. Now, I am reminded of my blessed status often, but how often I pay attention to those reminders is another story.I had one of those initial doctor's appointments this morning. The day was rainy, foggy, and miserable. I was going to a new doctor to talk about my risks of breast cancer. My maternal grandmother had breast cancer, and a mastectomy, and my mother was diagnosed several weeks ago. I am 34, and my health is passable by American standards. But I am now facing a lifetime of worrying a little more than your average woman about breast cancer. I am now scheduled for my first mamogram and an (and this sounds scary) ovarian ultrasound. My breasts will be squished and my ovaries scanned and we hope all will be well.
But my dear husband picked me up at the door of my workplace and drove me to the doctor's office. Now, I am not helpless, but I think he sensed what one friend once called an "air of fragility" about me, and I think he was sufficiently worried about me. But he did not just drop me off - he sat in the waiting room and did work-related reading while I met with the doctor.
Afterwards, as I was paying and setting up my next appointment, he asked me about my experiences with doctors as a child. Flash back to my pediatrician I had as a kid - a great physician from Sri Lanka. I said something about having one of the smartest doctors, and one of the nicest too. Then my husband asked if I ever got candy at the doctor's if I was good. I grinned and thought about it, but I really couldn't remember. My husband teased that I really missed out if I didn't get candy at the doctor's. And then he presented me with a little Valentine's Day box of chocolates. And I felt so much better, it was unbelievable. I was so thankful and grateful for his support.
Yesterday, my husband brough me lunch on his way in to work. Tucked inside the sack were 2 CDs - new releases from Michael Buble (whom I am really digging these days). Again, I felt really special, and blessed. My husband likes me, and sometimes having someone like me feels just terrific.
These moments of joy have come during a time when I have been less-than-lovable. I did not deserve his kindness. I have been self-absorbed in feeling awful about what my mom is going through. I have not paid much attention to him, and have not been very patient. I have not been as outwardly thankful of him and all he does to add to my happiness and well-being.
I shall work harder at being the kind of wife to him that God wants me to be. Perhaps this is God's way of telling me things - how much He loves me too, how He loves me despite my fatal flaws, and how willing he is to show me how to be the kind of wife He wants me to be...if I am just willing to listen.
Thank-you, God, for my husband.
posted by No Longer In Crisis @ 2/09/2005 03:53:00 PM
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